JaxChris
03-30-2009, 06:31 AM
This was on the Modern Crossfire forums and I about died laughing from it, enjoy:
AK-47: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR-15: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin-Nagant: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
AK-47: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR-15: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin-Nagant: You can hit the barn from two miles away.
AK-47: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR-15: Cheap mags melt.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a mag?
AK-47: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR-15 You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a safety?
AK-47: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR-15: Your rifle has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has a dog collar.
AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR-15: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
AK-47: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak.
AR-15: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 10 rounds.
Mosin-Nagant: You knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
AK-47: When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR-15: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin-Nagant: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
AK-47: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR-15: What's a recoil?
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil is often used to fix shoulders dislocated by the previous shot.
AK-47: Your sight adjustment goes to 10, and you've never bothered moving it.
AR-15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your sight adjustment goes to 2000 meters, and you've actually tried it.
AK-47: Your rifle can be used by any two-bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR-15: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has fought against itself - and won every time.
AK-47: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR-15: Your rifle drove Saddam out of Kuwait.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle won a pole vault event.
AK-47: You paid $330.
AR-15: You paid $900.
Mosin-Nagant: You paid $59.95.
AK-47: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR-15: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin-Nagant: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
AK-47: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR-15: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin-Nagant: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the stream without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AK-47: Any fool can be taught to field strip it.
AR-15: Anyone with an IQ over 160 can be taught to field strip it.
Mosin-Nagant: What's field stripping?
AK-47: Service life, 50 years.
AR-15: Service life, 40 years.
Mosin-Nagant: Service life, 101 years, and counting.
AK-47: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR-15: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Mosin-Nagant: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54 R.
AK-47: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR-15: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, if it's under warranty!
Mosin-Nagant: If your rifle breaks, you pick up another one.
AK-47: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR-15: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin-Nagant: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
AK-47: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR-15: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
AK-47: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR-15: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high-tech polymers.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Olga's toe nails.
AK-47: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
AR-15: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hot dogs and apple pie.
Mosin-Nagant: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.
AK-47: After a long day the range, you relax by watching Red Dawn.
AR-15: After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Black Hawk Down.
Mosin-Nagant: After a long day at the range, you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
AK-47: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR-15: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin-Nagant: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.
AK-47: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR-15: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Mosin-Nagant: Are there even photographs of Sergi Ivanovich Mosin and Leon Nagant?
AK-47: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR-15: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin-Nagant: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
AK-47: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR-15: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin-Nagant: You can hit the barn from two miles away.
AK-47: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR-15: Cheap mags melt.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a mag?
AK-47: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR-15 You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin-Nagant: What's a safety?
AK-47: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR-15: Your rifle has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has a dog collar.
AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR-15: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
AK-47: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak.
AR-15: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 10 rounds.
Mosin-Nagant: You knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
AK-47: When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR-15: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin-Nagant: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
AK-47: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR-15: What's a recoil?
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil is often used to fix shoulders dislocated by the previous shot.
AK-47: Your sight adjustment goes to 10, and you've never bothered moving it.
AR-15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your sight adjustment goes to 2000 meters, and you've actually tried it.
AK-47: Your rifle can be used by any two-bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR-15: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle has fought against itself - and won every time.
AK-47: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR-15: Your rifle drove Saddam out of Kuwait.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle won a pole vault event.
AK-47: You paid $330.
AR-15: You paid $900.
Mosin-Nagant: You paid $59.95.
AK-47: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR-15: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin-Nagant: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
AK-47: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR-15: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin-Nagant: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the stream without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AK-47: Any fool can be taught to field strip it.
AR-15: Anyone with an IQ over 160 can be taught to field strip it.
Mosin-Nagant: What's field stripping?
AK-47: Service life, 50 years.
AR-15: Service life, 40 years.
Mosin-Nagant: Service life, 101 years, and counting.
AK-47: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR-15: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Mosin-Nagant: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54 R.
AK-47: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR-15: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, if it's under warranty!
Mosin-Nagant: If your rifle breaks, you pick up another one.
AK-47: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR-15: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin-Nagant: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
AK-47: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR-15: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
AK-47: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR-15: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high-tech polymers.
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle's finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Olga's toe nails.
AK-47: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
AR-15: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hot dogs and apple pie.
Mosin-Nagant: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.
AK-47: After a long day the range, you relax by watching Red Dawn.
AR-15: After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Black Hawk Down.
Mosin-Nagant: After a long day at the range, you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
AK-47: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR-15: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin-Nagant: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.
AK-47: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR-15: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Mosin-Nagant: Are there even photographs of Sergi Ivanovich Mosin and Leon Nagant?